Introducing toys into the bedroom

SheSpot sexologist Alice Child reveals her expert tips on how to introduce sex toys into the bedroom.

We all have favourite sex positions, fantasies, role plays, or things that work for us. But when we do the same thing every single time it can make sex feel predictable or even boring – and nobody wants that.

If your sex life has become a little habitual or routine there are many things you can do to add more novelty, newness and pleasure into the bedroom. Sex toys and erotic tools are a great example!

Here are some of my top tips for introducing sex toys into the bedroom – without any of the awkwardness! 

Like with any sexual fantasy or new idea, bringing up trying sex toys might feel really nerve-wracking. This is very normal! Here are some tips:

Consent!
Consent is always vital. We should never coerce or convince our partners to do anything they feel uncomfortable with.  The only way to have happy, healthy sexual exploration is for everyone to feel excited going into it, expressing their enthusiastic consent. Go slowly, give them time to reflect and ask questions and don’t push them. If either person becomes upset, consider taking a break and returning to the conversation another time.  

Focus on the good stuff
If you’re uncertain how your partner will react, try explaining why exactly it would be hot for you instead of focusing on any negatives (e.g avoid talking about what’s ‘wrong’ with your sex life and instead focus on the potential new fun you could have!).  Share what you’re curious about and why you think it would be fun to explore together.  You can also reassure them that you only want to do it if they feel entirely comfortable!

Shop together

It is often fun to go shopping together so that both people feel a part of the experience. Consider getting a couples toy that you can use on each other, so you are both feeling the benefit! Choose something that feels like for both of you – there are so many wonderful choices out there!