The Hardest Part of Love and How to Find Your Way Back to Pleasure

We’re told that love is supposed to be effortless once you find “the one.” That marriage, or long-term partnership, is where the work ends and the happily-ever-after begins. But if you’ve ever been in love  truly in it  you know that’s not quite how it works.

The real challenge of love isn’t falling in. It’s staying.
Staying open. Staying curious. Staying connected when routine, stress, or silence start to fill the space where desire used to live.

Recently, Cosmopolitan asked 15 women what they found to be the hardest part of marriage and their answers weren’t about the big betrayals or movie-scene fights. They were about the quiet, everyday things. The ones that slowly chip away at connection when left unspoken.

The Invisible Weight of the Everyday

One woman spoke about the dishwasher how loading it the “wrong way” had become a symbol for everything that goes unsaid. Another admitted that after kids, she and her partner slipped into what she called “the roommate phase.” They still loved each other, but intimacy had become another box to tick, another task between errands and bedtime routines. Others talked about emotional labour  carrying the mental lists, the reminders, the invisible effort that keeps everything running but leaves little energy for pleasure.

And then there’s forgiveness  not just for the big things, but for the tiny hurts that stack up quietly over time. The harsh word. The missed moment. The night you turn away instead of reaching out.

These are the hardest parts of love  not because they’re dramatic, but because they’re easy to ignore.

Desire Doesn’t Disappear — It Just Changes Form

Here’s the thing: desire doesn’t vanish. It just needs to be nurtured differently. In the beginning, it’s wild and unplanned  stolen kisses, whispered texts, the thrill of discovery. But over time, it becomes something deeper. Softer. More intentional.

The hardest part of long-term love isn’t losing the spark, it’s remembering to feed it.

And pleasure? That’s not just about sex. It’s about staying awake to your own aliveness. It’s the way your partner looks at you across the kitchen. The touch that lingers even when you’re tired. The small rituals that make the ordinary sacred again.

Pleasure as a Love Language

At JOMO, we talk about pleasure not as a luxury, but as a necessity  a form of communication, self-care, and connection. Because when you prioritise pleasure, you’re really prioritising presence.

Start small:
Create micro-rituals. Maybe it’s lighting a candle before bed, massaging a few drops of our CBD Arousal Oil onto your skin, or using the Mojo Vibrating Massage Wand as part of a shared slow-touch ritual — no goal, no pressure, just presence.

 Have the uncomfortable conversations. Yes, even the ones about chores, resentment, or boredom. Intimacy starts with honesty.

 Replace perfection with play. When things feel distant, bring curiosity instead of criticism. Try something new together. Be a little silly. A little bold.

 Remember the why. You didn’t fall in love to become efficient. You fell in love because something about this person made you feel.

Relearning Intimacy

There’s a point in every relationship where love demands reinvention.
You can either cling to what it used to be, or you can explore what it could become.

Relearning intimacy doesn’t mean recreating your first date or your honeymoon. It means choosing to stay emotionally and physically available, even when life feels heavy.
It means seeing your partner  really seeing them not as the person who forgot to take the bins out, but as someone who still wants to be desired, touched, and understood.

And it means remembering yourself. Because sometimes the hardest part isn’t loving them, it’s remembering to love you.

The JOMO Way: Turn Routine Into Ritual

When pleasure becomes routine, it stops feeling like pleasure. But when you turn routine into ritual  when you bring intention, softness, and curiosity everything shifts.

Try this:
Next time you’re together, put your phones away. Dim the lights. Take a few slow breaths. Apply a few drops of JOMO’s CBD Arousal Oil. Let your hands wander without expectation. Explore, tease, laugh, pause. Maybe bring in Mojo to guide the rhythm.
No agenda. No goal. Just rediscovering the small, electric ways you connect.

Because when you focus on feeling, not finishing, everything becomes a little more intimate.

Love Isn’t Effortless — But It’s Worth It

The hardest part of love isn’t conflict. It’s disconnection.
It’s the slow fade that happens when life takes over, when pleasure becomes optional, and when communication is replaced by assumption.

But here’s the beautiful part: you can always choose to come back.
Back to your body. Back to touch. Back to each other.

The work of love isn’t about holding on  it’s about holding space.
For softness. For play. For pleasure that reminds you why you chose each other in the first place.

So if you’ve been feeling a little distant, a little tired, or a little too much like roommates, consider this your reminder:

You can start again, tonight.